When the wifi is down, the relationship is up.
Talk to each other. In person. Without distractions. Often.
When the wifi is down, the relationship is up. Read More »
emotional intimacy
Ask “Is there more?”
Putting your own feelings, thoughts, and comments on hold while you focus on your spouse’s emotions until they have shared all of their feelings and feel understood. Wait until your spouse has finished talking; wait for silence of 3 seconds. Ask “Is there more?” and allow them to add some more.
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Look for ways to make your spouse happy.
Ask yourself: “What can I do today to make my partner happy?” And mean it.
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I’m glad you told me
When your spouse shares about something that is making them feel down, your role as their spouse is to make them feel supported and not alone. Let them know you appreciate their sharing with you and acknowledge that it might have been difficult to do so. When you do this, it signals that you are
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Do something nice for your spouse.
It doesn’t have to be big. Prepare a snack for your spouse. Brew a cup of coffee. It can take less than a minute. Of course, your spouse benefits from the action; they get the snack or coffee. More importantly, your relationship benefits from your giving or doing for your spouse.
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Is your marriage the safest place in your spouse’s life?
Does your spouse feel that they can really share their feelings and thoughts and they will be received with respect? Do they feel relaxed enough to be themselves 100%. A happy marriage is one where both feel safe. Safety depends on attitudes and behaviors that support emotional connection and deep respect for each other. If
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Share your dreams for your family.
Shared dreams have a chance of actually happening. When you don’t share your dreams, they remain as expectations, which when they do not actualize can lead to frustration, disappointment and resentment. You might be hoping and wanting that your family will only eat healthy foods in your home. Yes, that would be wonderful. It can
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Discuss your spouse’s day.
The idea is to get a better understanding of the work they do, particularly the parts that add to their exhaustion and stress. In this way, you can better appreciate and understand how they feel at the end of the day. And what kind of support they would most appreciate. To a spouse who leaves
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Stick up for your spouse.
Your spouse wants to feel that you have their back. That you’d stick up for them in front of your parents and family. And their family. Anyone. As a married couple, you should put up a united front to hold each other’s dignity to the utmost. Defend your spouse. Call out the offender – respectfully,
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Share “I’m so happy I married you because…”
Say it aloud. And mean it. Go beyond the typical “you light up my life”. Share something true and unique to your marriage and spouse. Be specific. Add examples and memories. And in private. No need to splash it on social media.
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