Or similar: “I agree we should talk about this.” When something triggers you, a calm and affirming response like these can help create space for a constructive conversation. First, you are acknowledging that the topic is worth discussing. You are showing your spouse that you’re listening and open to understanding their perspective, even if it
Words to Use: “I agree that this is worth discussing.” Read More »
“If it bothers you, it matters to me” or “I know we are each in charge of our own feelings, but yours matter to me.” These phrases are powerful in relationships because they validate your partner’s emotions and show empathy, even when you don’t fully understand or share their feelings. By acknowledging their experience, you
Words To Use: “If it bothers you, it matters to me” Read More »
The phrase “I think this is where we differ…” is a great way to acknowledge a disagreement without escalating conflict. It keeps the conversation respectful, showing that you recognize and respect the other person’s perspective while expressing your own. It’s a softer, more thoughtful approach to differences, opening the door for dialogue rather than argument.
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When someone questions your decisions or perspectives, a helpful response is to say, “You are right, there are tradeoffs.” This simple phrase acknowledges the validity of the other person’s concerns without launching into a lengthy defense of your choices. It paves the way for constructive communication by validating their point of view and gently guiding
Words to Use: “You are right; there are tradeoffs.” Read More »
“I’ve noticed a change.” This phrase shows that you’re present, perceptive, and paying attention. People appreciate such connectedness and caring. Be specific about what you see. Invite them to respond. Make it easy for them to agree or clarify. “I’ve noticed a change in your enthusiasm for this upcoming trip. You are talking about it
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“Thank you for letting me know.” When you use these words after someone shares bad news or negative feedback, you are showing that you are willing to grow, work with the situation or provide support. This builds trust and helps others feel comfortable to share honestly with you. “Thank you for letting me know that
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If you are upset about something, don’t let it fester. But then again, maybe you aren’t ready to talk about it. Say that. “I am upset, I need to gather my thoughts about this before I talk about it.” “I’m not ready to talk about it.” “I’m upset, and just want a little bit of
Words to Avoid: “I’m not mad.” Read More »
Often these words are said with anger or frustration. “Your [nagging/spending/ not being home]… It’s gotta stop.” While the request may be reasonable, it’s the tone and wording that make it hard for the other person to take in your perspective. Instead, use an “I statement” explaining your perspective and what you would like. “When
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Or similarly, “How does it look to you?” “How do you feel about it?” Asking questions such as these invite the other person to share their perspective. They show you ae listening to them, to their experience, to their point of view. Discussions of perspective sharing can go a long way to collaborating and creating
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When you ask “What does [it] mean to you?” with genuine curiosity, you are seeking to get to know the other person a bit better. People can have varied thoughts and feelings about the same situation or experience. Similarly, words have different connotations for different people. “What does that award mean to you?” “What does
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