You have differences of perspectives. Of course, you want your position to be heard and respected. So does your spouse. It ought to be shared in a congenial and respectful discussion. But too often, such discussions wind up becoming quarrels or arguments. You know you’re quarreling when you find yourself getting irritated and wanting to […]
Quarreling? Arguing? Discuss perspectives. Read More »
Teammates (read: spouses) must be able to count on each other at all times. Your words, your actions, your decisions. All should be with one goal in mind: the best for your marriage and family. Pulling it together. And if you are not pulling together, you are just pulling apart.
Either you are pulling it together or you are pulling it apart. There is no in between. Read More »
Anger, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. It’s what we do when we’re angry that matters. Anger is a tool that helps us to read and respond to situations that bother us. Many important and good changes in society were initiated because someone was angry about an injustice. You see something that
Is all anger wrong? Read More »
Anger has several levels, ranging from the mildest to the severest. Awareness of these levels can help you better understand what it going on for you and you can better deal with your emotions and triggers. What is your anger temperature? Low: Irritated/ bothered/ annoyed: A person is irritated when something happens that they are
Understand your anger so you can work with it. Read More »
“I want to talk about this.” It’s not so much that your spouse wants to talk, as much as they want to be listened to and understood. They want to see that you care to hear what is going on for them, their perspective, their dreams, their worries. They want to know that they matter
When your spouse says that they want to talk, they really want to be understood. Read More »
Thinking and planning may be helpful. But it is action that counts. You don’t have to pre-plan or envision exactly how it will all work out. Just get started. Do you find yourself in the ‘thinking loop’ (also known as ‘overthinking’)? Take a few steps toward your goal. Tell yourself that you can always go
Your schedule is packed and somehow you are not getting to do the things you rally want. Is it time management, or is it priority management? You have to be intentional with your time and align your schedule with your values. Get clear with what is most important to you. Think in areas of work,
Does your schedule reflect your values? Read More »
You know you want to improve in some area. Or, at least you know that you don’t want whatever it is to continue in the way that it is. You can’t just say that you won’t get stressed over small things. You MUST have a plan of what you will do when a stressor comes
Goals? Resolutions? “What I will do” vs “What I will not do anymore” Read More »
When you know your ‘why’, the ‘how’ is easier to do. When you first identify your values (or standards) that you want to live by, it is easier to see what action steps you need to take to get there. Additionally, because your action steps are based on values you want in, and for, your
Goals? Resolutions? Plan action steps based on your values. Read More »
Circular argument: “You are never home so I end up going out to dinner and shopping with friends.” –> “I work late to pay for all those things you buy.” –> “I wouldn’t go out so much if you were home.” Round and round… There are several separate issues being touched on in this conversation.
Stop the downward spiral of circular arguments. Read More »
