The words we say have come into the world. And has lasting effect. For positive. And for negative. For ourselves, for the ones who hear, for the ones who just happen to be around at that time (maybe our kids?) – Compliments, admiration, appreciation, encouragement, apologies … – Complaints, critiques, grievances, accusations, demands … — […]
Thoughts will float in and out of our mind. We have little control of that which might float in. But we do control what we do with the thought once it appears. Some thoughts are useful, creative, powerful. And we ought to build on them to grow and propel upward. “I feel so blessed in
Have a life of your own. Have hobbies or interests. Have something in your life – outside of your spouse and children (and job) that feels gratifying and fulfilling. That you don’t necessarily do with your spouse. It doesn’t have to take lots of time. It can be interesting music or inspirational talks you listen
Have a life of your own. Read More »
It may be easier to only be nice, but it isn’t always the most helpful. If you have feedback about something another person did or said that can actually help them improve or enhance their work or life, be helpful and share it. But be nice about it. If you don’t bring it up, they
Don’t only be nice, be helpful in a nice way. Read More »
Don’t start something that has no end. “I wish you were taller and wouldn’t need help reaching everything.” “I wish you were more handy.” “Every time you plan a day, it rains. You couldn’t even get that right.” Seriously, what is the point? Complaints are remembered much longer than compliments. Choose your negative comments and
Don’t argue about something that can’t be helped. Read More »
If it is a ‘one-off’, let it go. Forgive and forget. In the same way that you don’t like to be reminded about every mistake you made, neither does your spouse. Your spouse is human. Let it go. – If it is a trend, or there is an important life or marriage lesson to be
Not every mistake needs a mention. Ever. Read More »
Take a moment – an oasis in middle of your busy life – and stop. To think. To reflect. To meditate. To gain perspective. To find context to your life. To contemplate your relationships. To connect to your ‘why’. To enrich your life. And those around you. Official times for a Moment of Silence on
September 11. A moment of silence. For reflection. Read More »
Don’t take the current behavior and start extrapolating the larger trends in the marriage because this incident seems like a good segue into getting ‘everything out in the open’. Stick to this one incident; you can bring up the other stuff later. When you are in a more calm state. At first conversation: “I want
Keep disputes focused on the current issue. Read More »
September 11. It’s 18 years. For some September 10 was their last night together. Their last laughs together? Their last fight? Their last apology? Their last ordinary enough night? Their last deep meaningful conversation? Their last random “You mean so much to me…”? Their last smiles? Their last “thank you for being you”? For those
Love and live to the fullest Read More »
Just pay attention to each other. Don’t take each other for granted. Show each other that you notice the little things that they do for you, for the family. Eye contact (not just picking up your eyes from your phone every so often), do things together (especially small stuff, not only fancy vacations), your words,
