Your dates together should be for deepening your relationship, so don’t bring in topics that bring you stress, like bills, housework, work, in-laws, and kids. You can add other topics to this basic list. Keep your topics in the the dating zone. If you find yourselves going toward any of the verboten topics, gently remind […]
Make certain topics off limit for your date time together. Read More »
Do something nice for your spouse – just because you love and care for them. – Take over a chore or errand. – Pick up, or make, your spouse’s favorite dessert or snack. – Add candles to the dinner table. – Send a loving text. Or write a note and place it in their car
Make it a ‘just because’ day; do something ‘just because’. Read More »
Discuss the problem fully before attempting to solve it. So that you aren’t solving only part of the issue. It is much easier to solve a problem when all the details are out in the open. Each of you should share your perspectives, underlying needs and wants so you both can see the complete picture
Separate problem discussion from problem solving Read More »
You have differences of perspectives. Of course, you want your position to be heard and respected. So does your spouse. It ought to be shared in a congenial and respectful discussion. But too often, such discussions wind up becoming quarrels or arguments. You know you’re quarreling when you find yourself getting irritated and wanting to
Quarreling? Arguing? Discuss perspectives. Read More »
Teammates (read: spouses) must be able to count on each other at all times. Your words, your actions, your decisions. All should be with one goal in mind: the best for your marriage and family. Pulling it together. And if you are not pulling together, you are just pulling apart.
Either you are pulling it together or you are pulling it apart. There is no in between. Read More »
Anger, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. It’s what we do when we’re angry that matters. Anger is a tool that helps us to read and respond to situations that bother us. Many important and good changes in society were initiated because someone was angry about an injustice. You see something that
Is all anger wrong? Read More »
Anger has several levels, ranging from the mildest to the severest. Awareness of these levels can help you better understand what it going on for you and you can better deal with your emotions and triggers. What is your anger temperature? Low: Irritated/ bothered/ annoyed: A person is irritated when something happens that they are
Understand your anger so you can work with it. Read More »
“I want to talk about this.” It’s not so much that your spouse wants to talk, as much as they want to be listened to and understood. They want to see that you care to hear what is going on for them, their perspective, their dreams, their worries. They want to know that they matter
When your spouse says that they want to talk, they really want to be understood. Read More »
Thinking and planning may be helpful. But it is action that counts. You don’t have to pre-plan or envision exactly how it will all work out. Just get started. Do you find yourself in the ‘thinking loop’ (also known as ‘overthinking’)? Take a few steps toward your goal. Tell yourself that you can always go
Your schedule is packed and somehow you are not getting to do the things you rally want. Is it time management, or is it priority management? You have to be intentional with your time and align your schedule with your values. Get clear with what is most important to you. Think in areas of work,
Does your schedule reflect your values? Read More »
