A time-out is a “pause in the action” for the purpose of stepping back, looking at the situation more objectively, planning a strategy and asking for help. Then, once you exercise your time-out, you are able to bring your most calm, productive and patient self to the problem. The time-out can be just a few […]
Language matters when you’re problem solving – generating information and ideas. Focus on “Yes, and,” rather than “No, but.” The “Yes, and” mindset encourages people to expand their thoughts, which is necessary during certain stages of creative problem solving. Using the word “but” – preceded by “yes” or “no” – ends conversation, and often negates
Problem solving? Think “Yes, and…” not “No, but …” Read More »
You are a team; the two of you against the issue. Do what you can to collaborate against the issue. Asking politely for suggestions or alternatives invites collaboration. “How might we address this? What are your thoughts about this?” Careful consideration of options shows respect to your spouse. “I didn’t it that way. Hmm. I
Fighting ends when cooperation begins. Read More »
Stick with the issue. It’s enough to deal with the problem without adding the new problem of hurting each other’s feelings. Keep focused.
Go after the issue, not each other. Read More »
Have you slept enough? Have you eaten properly? If the answer is no, then save your arguing for the morning. Often you will find that once you have slept and eaten you see things from a different perspective and you no longer feel angry.
If you feel angry, first self-reflect. Read More »
