Both of you had a long day. Your spouse calls and asks for some quiet time when they come home. – Here are 2 ways to look at it: “What? I also had a hard day. They weren’t around in the morning or last night. Or the morning before that or the night before that. […]
It’s all in how you look at it Read More »
Complaining doesn’t get you anywhere. Reaching out to friends can seem like it can help you keep your sanity when something isn’t going well. And sometimes it does. For a short while. But complaining in and of itself doesn’t change anything. And usually makes things worse, since you are building up the problem in your
Complaining about your spouse? A better way. Read More »
Men and women are mostly the same. Both want to be happy and have a strong need to love and be loved. There are also differences between men and women. Differences such as what makes them happy in a relationship and family. Differences in how they address problems. Differences in what they like to do.
Let your husband be a man. Let your wife be a woman. Read More »
Your spouse doesn’t have to want to do it. But they are doing it. Be grateful. And express it in the full. Don’t insist that they should ‘want’ to do it for you. Express your gratitude fully; include how whatever they just did enriched your life (or made it easier or better). “I know you
Accept the reluctant ‘yes’ Read More »
Talk about what pleases you, not only what bothers you. Preface negative statements with positive ones that let your spouse know that you haven’t forgotten their good qualities, even when you are upset about something. —- “I know that you have good intentions when you say that you’ll be home early…but it’s a real problem
Talk about positive, not only negative Read More »
Being compared negatively to anyone stings. Additionally, these statements are usually said when the listener doesn’t quite stack up to what the other is hoping. That stings too. Double sting. – Don’t say “You so emotional, just like your mom.” “You remind me of X, he’s also so clueless about these things.” “Why can’t you
Avoid negative comparisons Read More »
Men and women feel stress differently and manage stress differently as well. To generalize, women reach out to others when stressed, and men seek escape. Women will seek support and want to talk about it to lower their anxiety. Men repress their feelings and might change the subject. The key is to understand the difference
Men and women deal with stress differently Read More »
Miscommunications are bound to happen. And, both of you are unique individuals with your own unique way of seeing the world. You will have differences in ideas of how to deal in certain situations. That means there will be conflicts. Happy couples are OK with conflicts. They feel safe to share their perspectives. They discuss
Even happy couples have conflict Read More »
No one is happy when they are judged more than admired. It’s inevitable; your spouse will do something that annoys you sometimes. When you begin to feel irritated at your spouse, instead of reviewing everything you don’t like, turn your thoughts to all the good things about him or her. “Yeah, this thing is annoying.
Admire more. Judge less. Read More »
Spending time together and sharing common interests is great, but focusing on your own interests also is healthy. Your schedules and interests may not always work out. Pursue your interests with those who share those interests. Not instead of spending time with your spouse, rather in addition to the time you spend together. You don’t
You don’t have to do everything together Read More »
