It is about seeing that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the result as you do. – Accommodating is not an act of weakness; it demonstrates that you care for someone – beyond yourself. – Accommodating doesn’t mean that you are wrong and someone is right. It only means […]
Put your marriage first. Adjust and accommodate. Read More »
In-law jokes aside, this is a serious topic. The parents who raised your spouse want to continue a loving relationship with their adult child – even if they are no longer living in the same home, even if they are married. Of course, the relationship has changed. Their adult child spends more time and energy
Respect your spouse’s parents Read More »
You know you have to bring up a difficult topic. In addition to thinking about the issue and the words you will choose when talking about it, it is important to think about when and where to have the discussion. If you are going to your spouse about a problem (that you have with them),
Know when and where to have tough conversations Read More »
Are you tuned-in to when your spouse needs some free time to him/herself? As much as we love our family, most people still need some time alone. This is time to connect with one’s self to reenergize and regroup. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SPOUSE: does s/he need some time to catch up on stuff or
Give the gift of your time Read More »
“[There is] a time to remain silent and a time to speak” (Koheles 3:7) “Rabbi Shimon the son of Elazar would say: Do not appease your friend at the height of his anger ” (Avos 4:18) – A TIME-OUT IS ABOUT AVOIDING DAMAGE TO THE RELATIONSHIP. A time-out is from the issue – not the
There are some people who feel that their spouse spends way too much time with his/her own parents. For some, this is a truth. For others, it is a difference of expectations and family dynamics. – Before resentment arises (or grows), it is worthwhile to discuss and explore your expectations about relationships with families of
Spend more time with your spouse than your parents Read More »
When you go to your spouse and demand (nag) that s/he make a change, it will put him/her on the defense. (That’s just human nature.) – It is much easier to help him/her get there by presenting the problem you have and asking for help coming up with a solution. You never know what kind
No nagging: Ask for help with a solution Read More »
While it might feel good for a moment, constant complaining to others about your spouse can actually be toxic to your relationship. Firstly, it is disloyal to the person you supposedly care about. When someone speaks negatively about us, we tend to feel hurt, angry, defensive and resentful, which leads to thoughts like, “If you
Complaining about your spouse makes all worse Read More »
One powerful way to strengthen your marriage is to deliberately call to mind the highlights of your life together. It’s amazing what reminiscing does for a relationship when you talk about special moments, revisit special places, watch home videos, look at old pictures or listen to special songs.
Have a “Remember When” moment Read More »
As you plan your days and weeks, plan for some downtime, for some play. Whatever play means to you; something you enjoy doing. Not every minute has to be filled with work and housework and chores and errands. Do things that are fun for you. Gardening, reading a book (OK, an article), crossword puzzles, slow
