Don’t take the yoke and stress of full responsibility – if it is not all yours. Don’t push full responsibility (blame) onto your spouse – if you did contribute to the issue. Most likely it is a case of shared responsibility. Reflect on what you each have contributed to the issue. Take responsibility for your
Don’t polarize, assuming it is all your fault or all your spouse’s. Read More »
When your spouse wrongs you, you can’t wrong them to make it right.
You can’t put out a fire with more fire. Read More »
Sometimes one person shares what happened and the listener just doesn’t know how to respond. What did the speaker want from me: “Do they just want to vent and be comforted, or do they actually want my explanations, input and solutions?” If you are the one who is sharing, say what you want from the
Do you want comfort or solutions? Read More »
Literal definition: Victory In other words: Endurance – Fortitude – Consistency – Determination -Tenacity – Reliability – Commitment – Dedication – Persistence – Willpower EXPRESSIONS of Netzach: • Netzach means victory. It is about doing whatever – anything and everything – to attain that victory, including going beyond our comfort zone, not being stuck in
Netzach (sefira: week 4) Read More »
There will be times that you should not dismiss what happened or was said, and you should speak up. Don’t let your feelings of anger or resentment fester. When it comes to speaking up, it’s crucial to recognize that it won’t necessarily feel easy to do, but that it is best for the situation that
Firstly, you’ll get the right support faster and with less stress and aggravation from each of you. And it is not fair to your spouse to have to figure it out. (Is it possible that you do not know what you want or need and so you hope your spouse will figure it out?) Be
Tell your spouse what support you need/ want. Read More »
Understanding the difference between causes and triggers can help you take the other person’s actions less personally. You can trigger a behavior, but that doesn’t mean that you caused it. A trigger starts something that is primed to happen. A cause is the reason for something to happen. – Your neutral statement “what a beautiful
You might have triggered it, but you didn’t cause their response. Read More »
Every positive thing done in your marriage should be counted. Don’t just dismiss a positive act because “that is what spouses do for each other” or “it’s such a small thing”. Every small thing adds up to a wonderful relationships. And don’t take anything for granted. You are blessed that your spouse does ‘what they
Appreciate the small things. They add up. Read More »
If you are feeling stuck or in a conflict, ask yourself “Where am I wrong?”. You will gain so much more by asking this question than by insisting you are right, or even asking “Am I wrong?” You are essentially asking: – What information am I missing? – What might I be inferring or misunderstanding?
Ask yourself “Where am I wrong?” (as applicable). Read More »
Literal definition: Beauty In other words: Rachmonus (merciful compassion) – Empathy – Truth – Harmony – Balance of Chesed & Gevurah EXPRESSIONS of Tiferes: • Beauty is typically produced through the juxtaposition, contrast and balance of colors and textures. Similarly, the emotion of Tiferes is a balance of the two opposing qualities – Chesed and
Tiferes (sefira: week 3) Read More »
