Both of you had a long day. Your spouse calls and asks for some quiet time when they come home. – Here are 2 ways to look at it: “What? I also had a hard day. They weren’t around in the morning or last night. Or the morning before that or the night before that.
It’s all in how you look at it Read More »
Complaining doesn’t get you anywhere. Reaching out to friends can seem like it can help you keep your sanity when something isn’t going well. And sometimes it does. For a short while. But complaining in and of itself doesn’t change anything. And usually makes things worse, since you are building up the problem in your
Complaining about your spouse? A better way. Read More »
‘Validating’ is showing the other person that you understand where they are coming from. (It is not agreeing). – Sometimes, a short validation is all that is needed. As applicable, you can offer short comments as micro validations. This lets the other person know you are listening, withholding judgment and seeing things from their perspective
Both spouses contribute to the wellbeing of the marriage relationship. That means that if something isn’t working as you hope or wish or expect, you do have some part in that. Whatever you were doing in your marriage until now, put that behind you. Bring out the next version for your marriage, for your family,
Introducing: yourself 2.0 Read More »
Show your appreciation for who your spouse is or for something that they did in a more public way. That is addition to the moments in private. “Mommy made that delicious dessert that takes several steps. Because she knows it is my favorite.” “Thanks goes to my husband for pulling this off in such short
A different PDA: public display of appreciation Read More »
Once you are parents, your marriage matter more, not less. Because now other people are counting on you.
With kids, your marriage matters even more. Read More »
Studies show that people are happier when they get to use their strengths. Get to know your strengths and talents and use them. You’ll be happier. Even better, use your strengths together with your spouse. You’ll be in a good place because you are using your strengths and then your spouse benefits from your better
Use your strength with your spouse Read More »
Move toward your goal, not away from the problem. Being more outcome-motivated than avoiding problems has dramatic results. Changing your emphasis from what you’re against to what your for has dramatic impact. Are you merely against something or do you want to create an important result? Visualize it. Work toward it. – “I want a
Focus on what you want; not what you don’t want. Read More »
Studies show that novelty – something new and different – brings on a dopamine rush which makes us feel good. Humans seek novelty every so often to break up the routine of day-to-day life. Studies show that people who actively seek out new experiences throughout life live happier, healthier lives. – Make a list of
Do something different. Anything. Just different. Read More »
Your spouse cares about you. And because they do, they wouldn’t intentionally hurt you or your feelings. Give them the benefit of the doubt. This mindset will let you go into every situation with an open mind, judgement free, and help you to see more clearly what is going on.
Give the benefit of the doubt Read More »
