Far too often, people who are disappointed have negative emotional reactions. They might blame themselves as they feel ashamed for not living up to their ideal self. They may also turn their anger to others who didn’t live up to their expectations. Neither are healthy. Reframe disappointments as learning experiences; this will help you cope […]
Disappointments can be learning experiences Read More »
We all need a vacation now and then. But all too often reality does not allow for us to actually go away on vacation. Of course, there is the staycation where you unwind and relax in your own home city. And the daycation, a day off (trip or other relaxing activity) that does not involve
5 Minute Vacations Read More »
“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” – Ayn Rand And along the same lines, “It’s easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.” – Sir Josiah Stamp What you do and what you don’t do all have consequences that can impact
Reality happens, even when you try to ignore it Read More »
Feedback and hearing others’ perspectives is how we grow and learn about each other. It is important in a relationship. But giving feedback can be stressful – both to the receiver and the giver. When receiving feedback, most people jump into self-preservation mode and defend themselves. And just knowing that the other may not accept
Develop a culture of asking for feedback Read More »
If you have brought up a topic and your spouse does not want to address it or change, then just let it go. Regardless of how right you believe you are, you cannot force anyone to make changes. If they are not interested in making the change, it behooves you and your marriage to just
Do not rehash the same old Read More »
3 Conversations you might have this week What is your level of comfort with risk taking? How big will the payoff have to be for you to take the risk? How does the probability of success play into your decision making? What do you consider a ‘great’ day? What does happiness mean? How is it
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [07/05/2020] Read More »
When you try to prove yourself, you are basically trying to show that you are right. Even at the expense at being at odds with others. Even at the expense of actually taking in the insights and bettering yourself. When you try to prove yourself, you might take offense from and challenge genuine feedback, question
Don’t prove yourself, improve yourself Read More »
The phrase “Choose your battles” is about recognizing that bringing up the topic will have consequences to the relationship. Life is too short to spend it on warring, and thus choose a battle that is critical and will bring you to a better place rather than fighting for fighting sake. Fight only the most, most,
Choose your battles Read More »
Feedback gives you information about yourself that you’re unable to see on your own. Your spouse doesn’t have to give it, but they care enough to take the risk. Focus on the message to see if it’s true so you can decide what change might be needed.
Reframe feedback as a gift, not an attack Read More »
“I care, therefore I criticize,” or “I’m telling you this because I care about you.” To the one who is being told to do things differently, what comes through loudest and clearest is the criticism. But the one offering suggestions and judgments is usually focused on the caring. Why the disconnect? So much depends on
Caring and criticizing Read More »
