We all have moments when our words don’t land the way we intended. When that happens, it’s important to acknowledge the impact of what was said. Try saying, “I can see how that was hurtful,” or “I understand how that could have been confusing.” These phrases show empathy and validate the other person’s feelings. Follow […]
What to say when your words come out wrong Read More »
When you say, “I’m sorry. OK, so I’m not a good (enough) husband/wife,” or throw out phrases like “I’m so pathetic” or “You deserve better than this,” it doesn’t feel like a real apology to me. It feels like you’re deflecting. Honestly, it seems like you’re sidestepping the hurt I’m feeling. Those self-pitying apologies don’t
“‘I’m sorry; I am just pathetic’ isn’t the apology I need.” Read More »
We’ve all been there—someone distorts what we’ve said or assumes our feelings. Comments like, “You just think everyone should agree with you,” “So you believe that I’m always wrong,” or “You’re saying you don’t care about this issue at all,” can leave us feeling frustrated. When faced with these kinds of statements, it’s important to
What to say when someone puts words in your mouth. Read More »
Sometimes, it may seem like people can’t handle “brutal honesty,” and it can be tempting to think, “It’s not my problem if they don’t want to hear the truth.” However, true honesty isn’t just about laying down the facts; it’s also about how you communicate them. When aiming for honest communication, focus on both what
Brutal honesty is usually more brutal than honest. Read More »
Just because you feel very strongly about your opinions doesn’t make them facts. When discussing your views, present them as opinions, not as indisputable facts. All too often, we might present our perspectives as facts. To avoid this, try framing your opinions more openly: This approach acknowledges that opinions are flexible and personal, while facts are
Share opinions as opinions, not facts. Read More »
As we prepare for the upcoming Tishrei holidays, it’s important to focus not only on the spiritual aspects like Tehillim, added prayers, and Teshuva, but also on the practical side of things. Tishrei brings with it meals, guests, budgets, and hosting responsibilities, all of which require careful thought and planning. Balancing both the spiritual and
Time to get practical: What you and your spouse need to discuss for Tishrei Read More »
In the midst of a disagreement, life’s responsibilities can sometimes interrupt, whether it’s time to go to sleep, take care of the kids, or head to work. When this happens, it’s important to agree to “shelf” the issue temporarily and commit to revisiting it later. Shelving an issue doesn’t mean ignoring it; it means acknowledging
Shelf your disagreements and come back later. Read More »
Regular marriage check-in meetings, ideally once a week or at least once a month, provide a dedicated space to ask, “How are we doing?” These sessions are essential for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. During these meetings, openly discuss your feelings, concerns, and goals. It’s a time to listen actively, validate each other’s emotions,
Marriage Check-In Meetings to continuously nurture your relationship. Read More »
Bringing up issues in a relationship can feel difficult, but the way you approach the conversation can significantly impact the outcome. First, evaluate whether the issue is worth bringing up. Consider if it’s something that genuinely affects your happiness and the health of the relationship, or if it’s a minor irritation that you can let
How to bring up issues for a positive response. Read More »
Honesty and communication are the bedrock of trust and connection of any relationship. “The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” (Robert Louis Stevenson) When we withhold our true feelings, thoughts, or concerns, we inadvertently build walls between ourselves and our partners. Silence can be a form of deceit. By not voicing our dissatisfaction, fears,
“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” Read More »
