As you work through a conflict, stop to notice your progress. Ask: “What do we agree on already?” A conflict is a difference of perspectives on an issue. When working through a conflict, you take turns sharing your perspectives until you come to a resolution. If you look, you will find that you agree on […]
During conflict, find what you agree on Read More »
3 Conversations you might have this week What are potential stressors this Chanukh (ex: kids’ vacation, gift giving, parties) and what can we do to mitigate the stress? What might it had been like to live through the years of the Macabees? Who is someone who shone the light for you and helped you see
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [12/06/2020] Read More »
Rabbi Nachman of Breslov’s famous quote, כל העולם כולו גשר צר מאוד והעיקר לא לפחד כלל “The whole world is a very narrow bridge and the main thing is to have no fear at all” is a profound philosophy for life. So much of life can feel like a narrow bridge over a deep ravine
How to get across the very narrow bridge Read More »
There are different ways that people work through an issue. Do you know your spouse’s preferred way? Working in their own style, the person comes to a resolution. The External Processors think out loud. They love brainstorming sessions because they get to work through their ideas with other people. The Internal Processors like to be
What is your spouse’s thinking style Read More »
Ask for past stories (‘what did you do’), not hypotheticals (‘what would you do’). “When you went through that experience, what did you do?” rather than “If you ever got into such a situation, what would you do?” You can learn much more about who they is from their past, than their ideas of how they hope
#013: Ask for past stories. Read More »
Make the other comfortable. There will probably be some topics that are not so comfortable to talk about. It is your role to try to make the other as comfortable as possible to share whatever it is that they need to share so you can determine if this they are a good match for you.
#012: Make the other comfortable. Read More »
Leave lots of room for the other to clarify. There may be times that you are not sure that you get the full picture. Ask for clarity in a way that leaves them dignity. Don’t say: “You’re contradicting yourself.” “Last time you said X, now you are sayin Y, what is the real story?” Rather,
#011: Leave room for the other to clarify. Read More »
It is considered disrespectful to interrupt someone. But sometimes we just do – unintentionally. If you catch yourself interrupting, apologize right away. “I’m sorry I interrupted you, I get excited about this topic. Please continue.” You can also say, “If I do it again, please call me out on it.” This shows that you recognize
Words to Use: “I’m sorry I interrupted you. Please continue.” Read More »
One evening when you can’t get out, plan for your next dates. Create a list of things that you would like to do when you can go out. (Ideally on a shared Google document so you can each add to it as a new idea comes to you.) Start with places and activities that you
Create a list of Date Ideas Read More »
