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Words to Use: “Is this a good time to talk about this?”

Timing matters.This simple question respects your spouse’s current capacity to engage, instead of dropping a heavy conversation on them out of nowhere. 💬 “Is this a good time to talk about something that’s on my mind?”💬 “I want to bring something up, but only if you’ve got the headspace for it right now.”💬 “Can we […]

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Words to Avoid: “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

This statement can shut down communication and make the other person feel dismissed. When we say this, we’re often trying to defend ourselves or protect our boundaries—but it can come across as cold or uncaring. In relationships, especially when emotions are involved, taking the time to explain or offer clarity can help prevent misunderstandings and

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Navigating the Roadmap of Marriage: Exploring Differentiation

Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad (www.adaiad.org) speaks with Chana Levitan, MSc, about her newly released book, “Are We There Yet?”. It’s practical and insightful about this “one thing” for successful marriage. After so many years of therapy and coaching, Chana concluded that the one thing for successful marriage is… differentiation.

Chana breaks it all down in this conversation, the stages of a marriage, the roadblocks so many of us hit as we discover and live by the concept of differentiation. Differentiation is the ability to maintain my sense of self as I discover how different my spouse and I are – while at the same time learning to stay connected.

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Words to Avoid:  “What are you talking about, that never happened.”

The phrase dismisses the other person’s experience, potentially invalidating their feelings and perceptions of what happened. In fact, this can be gaslighting, a manipulation tactic used to make someone doubt their own memories or perception of reality. If indeed you have a different perception of the event, you can be curious about why the other

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Words to Use: “I’m upset because I expected…”

This phrase helps clarify your feelings by acknowledging that your upset is tied to an unmet expectation. It invites a conversation about what you expected, helping the other person understand your perspective. It also signals a willingness to discuss and reflect on whether those expectations were realistic or not. 💬 “I’m upset because I expected

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