Do you (sometimes) redirect a negative emotion that belongs in one situation to someone else? Did your boss/friend/colleague/ stranger say something upsetting and you let out that frustration on your spouse/child? That is displacing, a psychological defense mechanism that many of us develop to deal with difficult emotions. Instead of dealing with the stressful situation […]
Are you displacing your negative emotions? Read More »
3 Conversations you might have this week What is something that people may not know is important to you? What’s the most useful thing you own? What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time? 2 Quotes to inspire you “Compliment others. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses.” “It’s not
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [12/19/2021] Read More »
Running away from any problem only increases the distance from the solution. In many cases, if you do not face your problems and you turn the other way, you are just avoiding them and over time they will pile up and cause you a huge amount of stress. And subconsciously, you may feel bad about
The easiest way to escape from the problem is to solve it. Read More »
Really, nobody has it all together. Life isn’t always rosy and simple. Everyone has something going on. Sometimes bigger, sometimes smaller. Sometimes overwhelming, sometimes more manageable. There are unexpected events, delays, setbacks, unmet dreams, or goals. Heartache, back luck, breakdowns, struggles, challenges. And lots of ‘I could have done without that.’ Nobody shares every part
Nobody has it all together all of the time. Read More »
This is often said in response to a perceived criticism – as a defense mechanism, as a way to deflect responsibility from whatever was just brought up. Instead, be curious. “Tell me more so I can do better in the future.”
Words to avoid: “Why are you trying to start a fight?” Read More »
Responding, while technically a reaction, takes into consideration the desired outcome of the interaction. Reacting is emotional, responding is emotional intelligence. Reactions are driven by the beliefs, biases, and prejudices of the unconscious mind; they are done without ‘thinking’. When you react to life, you’re acting emotionally from either memory or old habits. Responding means
Don’t react, respond. Read More »
Emotions are our natural guidance system—and they are more effective when we don’t try to fight them. There are major benefits to feeling what we don’t want to feel. Our emotions are telling us something about what is important to us. When we get the job or get recognition for our contributions, we feel happy
There are benefits to feeling what we don’t want to feel. Read More »
3 Conversations you might have this week What is one of the hardest things you ever had to do? What is something that helps you feel calmer in a stressful situation? What do you want your spouse to do for you when you are stressed? What is something new that you’d like to try? (When
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [12/12/2021] Read More »
When you are talking about something that your spouse did that you don’t like, talk about the behavior, not your judgment of them. Not “I don’t like when you are nasty.” Rather, “I don’t like when you don’t speak to me all night.” Then, request what you prefer. “What I prefer is that you tell
Talk about behaviors, not judgment of the person. Read More »
When you notice that your discussion is spiraling downwards or moving to sensitive topics, you might use the metaphor of the traffic light. The idea is to use a two-word phrase “Yellow Light” in place of this longer statement: “I really want to hear what you are saying, but I’m feeling very stressed now and
During an argument, Yellow Light, Red Light Read More »
