Admitting a wrong-doing generally isn’t easy — especially when doing so means acknowledging that you hurt someone you care about. When an apology is absent or it’s a bad apology, it puts a crack in the very foundation of a relationship. You have to mean it. It must be genuine. An insincere apology is worse […]
How to apologize the right way. Read More »
When your buttons are pushed, you can have a very strong emotional reaction, such as anger, irritation, or exasperation. But, there’s a better way to respond. If you admit it, you probably have a few hot buttons to which you are sensitive. Think about just one of those. Who and what tends to push it?
A better way to respond when your buttons are pushed. Read More »
You will have conflicts from time to time. You will see things differently from others. It isn’t about having the other person see things in your way, or bringing them over to your way. Rather, good, healthy disagreement leads to eye-opening discussions, growth, and potentially more closeness. In a healthy disagreement, people learn, explore,
Healthy conflict can lead to growth. Read More »
Does this ever happen to you? Your spouse/friend does something nice and you come up with all sorts of explanations about their intentions. How we attribute others’ behavior can make a huge difference. Your spouse gives you a lovely little gift one random day. You wonder what is the reason. There are so many ways
Positive attributions: Key for life satisfaction. Read More »
So much of how we think about things is our own interpretation or explanation of what happened. We are trying to make sense of what happened. Our approach to making these attributions in our marriage influences how we feel about that the relationship, and ultimately impacts our words and interactions. Whatever happened is a fact.
Assume good intention. Read More »
There’s lots happening on Purim – places to be, things to do, messes to clean, and whatever else. It takes coordination and planning to get it all done with the least stress. And a good attitude when things still don’t work according to plan. Talk it out. Plan who does what and when. Get it
Work together to create a realistic plan for Purim. Read More »
You can not be able control all the rude or dumb things people say and do. You can decide not to be distracted or controlled by them. You can’t control what others think of you. Even if you follow all of the “rules” and do everything “right”, how others respond to you is outside of
People say inappropriate things, leave that on them. Read More »
Disagreements are inevitable. But, there’s definitely a wrong way and a right way to present your own arguments.–Focus on facts and don’t make it personal. A respectful disagreement is one that prioritizes logic over your opinions and emotions about the situation. Staying to facts makes it clear that it isn’t personal. Focus on illustrating why
You don’t have to agree on everything, but you have to be respectful. Read More »
Consistently fan the sparks of positive feelings about your spouse. When a couple makes a full and conscious effort to notice things they like about each other and then express those out loud to each other, their relationship is enriched. Constantly look out for things that your spouse is getting right or doing well. Try
Look out for positives in your spouse. Read More »
Within every complaint, there is a request. It is important to be able to discern that request and not get caught up in the noise around it. Focus your energy on hearing what your partner is saying, or trying to say, and respond to that need.• A complaint about the garbage might really be about
Complaints are really a need or longing that is not happening. Read More »
