Other people just aren’t quite you. You might wish they acted or thought differently. But, they are who they are. Let them be. With all their crazy antics and lousy jokes. With their unseemly way of seeing the world. With their bad manners. Everyone has something. In life, not every moment or statement or question […]
Let other people be who they are Read More »
In every relationship, there are some issues that fall in the category “we always go through the dance” before actually moving forward. Here’s the dance steps: One brings up the topic. The other goes through their objections. Eventually, they do whatever it is. The dance can be about spending money, going out, visiting family, home
Go through the dance – with humor Read More »
When people see areas where their lives intersects with someone else, they feel more connected. This is like saying “I’m like you.” It makes people feel understood and gives them a sense of belonging. In marriage, we will bring up and focus on areas where we have differences more often rather than our similarities. Make
Highlight the places where your interests overlap with your spouse Read More »
We may live and love and pray and mask and dress and react and vote and believe differently. We are all people with different backgrounds, cultures, needs, fears, dreams and triggers. All that withstanding, every person deserves respect and understanding. Equally. Even if you don’t agree with them, or even understand their perspective. Especially those
We may be different … and still we deserve respect and understanding equally Read More »
When you are able to see things from another person’s perspective, then you are able to ask for forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. – Rabbi YY Jacobsonhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/gGxPpoLsvrk?start=786…–When someone does something that causes you pain, it often helps to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to see the situation from their perspective. Instead of
Seeing the other’s perspective can help with forgiveness Read More »
Flawsome is a combination of the words “flaws” and “awesome”. Something that is totally awesome, but not without its flaws. We are all flawsome. We are awesome and wonderful even with all our flaws. Accept – no, celebrate – your flaws and be proud of them because nobody is perfect! There is no better feeling
Flawsome: Awesome with flaws Read More »
We are always more cautious when the risk is new. As time moves along, the risk seems less scary and the vigilance gets in the way of regular life. We grow tired of that stress and we want to reassert a sense of personal control. This all might lead to a lessening of personal motivation
Caution Fatigue: tired of being cautious Read More »
When you try to correct your spouse (or suggest a change), you are using up some of those goodwill credits in your relationship. Even if you say it with love and concern only for them. Nobody likes to be called out on their mistakes or failures, or even more so, on things they really can’t
Correction reduces connection Read More »
Feedback and hearing others’ perspectives is how we grow and learn about each other. It is important in a relationship. But giving feedback can be stressful – both to the receiver and the giver. When receiving feedback, most people jump into self-preservation mode and defend themselves. And just knowing that the other may not accept
Develop a culture of asking for feedback Read More »
If you have brought up a topic and your spouse does not want to address it or change, then just let it go. Regardless of how right you believe you are, you cannot force anyone to make changes. If they are not interested in making the change, it behooves you and your marriage to just
Do not rehash the same old Read More »
