Before you argue with someone, ask yourself if that person is ready to hear a different perspective. If not, there really is no point in having a discussion. Actually, first, ask yourself why you want to have that conversation. Do you want to change their mind? Do you want them to do something differently? Are […]
The golden rule of argument. Read More »
Everyone needs some time to have their own fun – with friends, family or hobbies. Allow – no encourage – your spouse to have their own time. Saying things like, “Have a really good time,” “Have fun with your friends!” or, “Hope your night is awesome; I can’t wait to hear about it!” shows that
Words to use: “Have fun!” Read More »
Of course, emergencies come up all the time. This is not about those. This is about the times when people put you on the spot with what they deem urgent matters and want your time or assistance. Some examples: The person who didn’t do their part before a deadline. The kid who forgot about buying
Someone else’s urgency doesn’t have to be your emergency. Read More »
If you like something, but your spouse doesn’t, you could do what they like too. Just for them. With a smile. For example, you love cauliflower rice and your spouse prefers white rice, you could make both. You don’t have to get them to like cauliflower rice. And you don’t have to forgo it either.
Make loving exceptions for your spouse. Read More »
3 Conversations you might have this week What is the worst advice that you’ve ever taken? What’s your favorite word? What food do you avoid at all costs? 2 Quotes to inspire you “We learn from failure, not from success.” “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” – Jonathan Lockwood
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [1/9/2022] Read More »
When we see people clearly and lovingly, we are more understanding and forgiving of their words or behavior*. When we see clearly, we recognize that someone’s comment or behavior may have very little to do with us. It may be that the other person is hungry, tired, stressed, afraid, reacting from a trigger. Their actions
Clarity counteracts resentment. Read More »
When trying to make progress toward a goal, sometimes it is helpful to pretend that the goal has been achieved (even if the goal is just one tiny step) and act in that way. At least for a short time. For example, you have a goal of being more assertive at work, or being more
Act “as if” your goal has been reached Read More »
These words are usually said in anger and frustration. The speaker is unilaterally ending the conversation, effectively saying that the other person has lost their attention and don’t have permission to speak anymore. The speaker is essentially declaring that they just don’t want to work it through, that they don’t care about the relationship (at
Words to avoid: “This conversation is over!” Read More »
If someone around you is having pessimistic, defeatist thoughts (or maybe yourself), ask: “Could it be worse?” If they are honest, they will probably give an affirmative answer to this. Then ask them how it is not worse than it is, and how they made that happen. “How is not worse than it could be?
Challenge negative thoughts Read More »
“Playing small” is when we dismiss what we truly want in life in order to maintain a present-moment – short-term, temporary – illusion of comfort, security, acceptance, or control. Such actions are motivated by our fears, insecurities, low self-worth, and scarcity. It’s impulsive, reactive — and often frantic. By contrast, “playing big” means we’re willing
