Even though several words may be synonymous, they have different shades of meaning and connotations. Additionally, some words have different meanings to specific people. Some words don’t really convey much; they are very general. 🤔“It was a nice day.” Nice in what way? Fun, relaxed, good enough.🤔“I am so happy.” Are you excited or elated […]
Use the right word for the situation Read More »
It’s common for people to use avoidance tactics when they don’t want to talk about something. Not talking about these things isn’t going to make them disappear. Putting off conversations can build resentment, making it even harder to address your issues over time. Accept that it will be hard. But don’t expect that it will
How to have difficult conversations with your spouse. Read More »
You may have every ‘right’ to expect something from your spouse or someone else and so you constantly remind them to do it. But they consistently don’t do it or ignore your requests. And you remind them again. That’s nagging. And people don’t respond well to nagging. Such communication can come across as complaining, blaming
Nagging is in the ear of the beholder. Read More »
A Marriage Meeting can really solidify your marriage. This is a short (about 30 minutes) check-in where the two of you share appreciation, plan together and nip potential conflicts in the bud. This should be a scheduled weekly meeting (separate from date night or budget meetings). A half-hour is long enough to cover everything, but
Weekly marriage meetings keep you on track. Read More »
During an argument, take a break with Yellow Light, Red Light When you notice that your discussion is spiraling downwards or moving to sensitive topics, you might use the metaphor of the traffic light to indicate that you need to take a break. The idea is to use a two-word phrase “Yellow Light” in place
How to disagree respectfully & productively. – Part 5/5 Read More »
Think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party. Often, it is helpful to think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for all involved. How might this person resolve the disagreement? This is not always so easy to do in the moment of
How to disagree respectfully & productively. – Part 4/5 Read More »
The words we use in a disagreement can make all the difference. Start with a soft opener. According to the Gottman Institute, 94% of the time, the way the conversation begins determines how it ends. In other words, discussions will end on the same note they begin. If we start an argument harshly by attacking
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Don’t “agree to disagree”. When we “agree to disagree” we are essentially hitting a dead-end, and thus there is a sense of disconnect. Each side is holding onto their own truth without acknowledging that the other person has another interpretation of the same event. Both sides can be right. Based on their experiences and logic,
How to disagree respectfully & productively. – Part 2/5 Read More »
Be OK with disagreements. Disagreements are essentially differences of opinions, perspectives or values. And they are inevitable; we all see things differently from others from time to time. When we encounter such differences, we can use them to get to know each other better. Good, healthy disagreement leads to eye-opening discussions, growth, and potentially more
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When you are listening to someone, that’s all you should be doing. Listening. Focusing. Not multi-tasking. Listen with patience. Don’t interrupt or finish their sentences. While they are speaking, listen to understand, not planning how to respond. Show that you listened and are trying to understand. Paraphrase what the person has said, rather than offering
Listening is the most powerful tool in relationships – Part 5/5 Read More »
