Remember the good.
When your spouse does something wrong, remember all the things they do right. The same is true for your kids, neighbors, help and everyone else.
Remember the good. Read More »
stress management
Feeling overwhelmed? Gain perspective to gain clarity.
Bumped into obstacles?Trying to do too much?Working in crisis mode? Those are big. Sometimes we get so caught up in the overwhelm of the situation. We might think or bemoan:“This is too much.” “It’s not fair.” “There are so many decisions to be made. I don’t know where to start.” “Why do I have to
Feeling overwhelmed? Gain perspective to gain clarity. Read More »
Have too much to do? Change your thinking about it.
So much is about the way you think about it. Changing the way you think changes the way you feel. Instead of thinking “I should do this ….’, “I must do that …” it is much more effective to think “I could do that (or not).” This creates an opportunity to choose; having a choice
Have too much to do? Change your thinking about it. Read More »
How to rebound from a mistake.
Fell off track and feel like you blew the day? (Like you ate 3 donuts and now that you messed up so you’re thinking that you may as well just eat lots more junk.) Instead, think of each day as a set of four quarters: morning, midday, afternoon, and evening. If you blow one quarter,
How to rebound from a mistake. Read More »
A better way to respond when your buttons are pushed.
When your buttons are pushed, you can have a very strong emotional reaction, such as anger, irritation, or exasperation. But, there’s a better way to respond. If you admit it, you probably have a few hot buttons to which you are sensitive. Think about just one of those. Who and what tends to push it?
A better way to respond when your buttons are pushed. Read More »
Stop labeling yourself.
If you want to change something in your life, stop labeling yourself with a label that perpetuates the cycle you’re trying to break. Stop thoughts such as “I’m a procrastinator”, “I’m a perfectionist”, “I’m not a morning person”. Acknowledging habits or preferences that aren’t serving us is a really important first step in change. But
Stop labeling yourself. Read More »
Positive attributions: Key for life satisfaction.
Does this ever happen to you? Your spouse/friend does something nice and you come up with all sorts of explanations about their intentions. How we attribute others’ behavior can make a huge difference. Your spouse gives you a lovely little gift one random day. You wonder what is the reason. There are so many ways
Positive attributions: Key for life satisfaction. Read More »
Assume good intention.
So much of how we think about things is our own interpretation or explanation of what happened. We are trying to make sense of what happened. Our approach to making these attributions in our marriage influences how we feel about that the relationship, and ultimately impacts our words and interactions. Whatever happened is a fact.
Assume good intention. Read More »
Give your thoughts a name, and then dismiss them.
Give your thoughts a name. So often, unhelpful thoughts (or stories) flit through our minds. Usually, the same ones over and over again. These thoughts can easily pull us into worrying, ruminating or ‘analysis paralysis’. While it may be natural to have these thoughts, they can be debilitating. Don’t take your thoughts too seriously. Name
Give your thoughts a name, and then dismiss them. Read More »
Want to overcome a bad habit? Think of the payoffs and tradeoffs.
Sometimes when we have a big challenge that needs us to do some hard work to resolve, we tend to stay stuck by ruminating, worrying, fantasizing, plotting revenge, or some other type of unworkable behavior that doesn’t resolve the issue at all. So why do we do this? We do things for the payoff, something
Want to overcome a bad habit? Think of the payoffs and tradeoffs. Read More »