Fishing for compliments is about trying to get people say good things about you. Sometimes, people fish for compliments because their achievement has gone unnoticed and they hope to subtly bring attention to their success. Often, it’s pretending to be modest about something and hope they disagree and give you praise. It’s intentionally saying self-deprecating […]
Beware of fishing for compliments. Read More »
You won’t have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. “Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.” – John C. Maxwell There are so many wonderful things you could be spending your time and energy on. They are all good
Say ‘No’ to the good, so you can say ‘Yes’ to the best. Read More »
Instead of making an assumption or jumping to conclusions about something your spouse said or did, be curious. You’ll get a more accurate understanding of what is going on. And it will deepen your relationship. Curiosity leads to deeper understanding of one another. Curiosity helps both of you grow. By asking and answering questions, you
Curiosity deepens your intimacy Read More »
As a couple, talk about money. Even if it is uncomfortable (at first). Talk about what money means to each of you (are you a saver/ spender and what might be the reasons you choose that style). Talk about your life goals and how money may play into that (do you want to pay down
When it comes to money and relationships, there’s no one right way. Read More »
If you refuse to listen to others, you will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing significant to say. If you don’t listen, or worse bark at those who talk to you, then people just won’t want to talk to you. They won’t bring up ideas. They won’t bring up concerns. They won’t give
If you don’t listen, they won’t talk to you. Read More »
Sympathetic Joy: the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people’s well-being (specifically in their successes). Celebrating triumphs in life – from small, seemingly trivial ones to those that are more significant – strengthens the bond between two people. Being genuinely enthusiastic in responding to your spouse’s success or good fortune can have a positive
Celebrate successes together. Read More »
Use codes to send a message without having to say it directly. You might use a hand signal or head nod. You might use a certain word or phrase. This comes in handy when you are with other people. You might also use such codes when you are alone as an inside joke. Or when
Create secret codes that you both understand. Read More »
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Rabbi Pinney and Helana Herman about Gifting your Relationship with a change. This talk also covers some key points of the Imago Dialog and other tools.
Gifting your Relationship with Change Read More »
Sometimes, people ask a question, but they are really seeking reassurance and encouragement. “Do you think I am ready?” “Does this look good?” They aren’t looking for information and they don’t necessarily even want the truthful answer. Instead of answering the question, respond to the underlying need. “You are well prepared for the presentation.” “I
Not every question is a question. Read More »
Something important to talk about? Something that is uncomfortable for one or both of you? Give the conversation its best chance – by being at your best. Don’t have the conversation when you are hungry, angry, late or tired (think the acronym H.A.L.T.) You won’t have a productive conversation when you don’t have enough energy,
Have hard conversations when you’re at your best, not your worst. Read More »
